Ponderings on Death

I always thought that watching a loved one die would be a peaceful, happy experience. Especially with the knowledge we have of life after death and eternity and families are forever!

I've never actually experienced the dieing process unless you count the last few weeks with grandma and that wasn't a daily thing. I did get to find her dead body. That wasn't fun, but I was kinda relieved she was dead because she would not have been happy that I had taken Yvonne with me to find her!

My mother's life is slowly winding down and she's getting closer everyday to the other side of the veil. She could leave us tomorrow, next week, next month, even next year. She's not the same person she was even 3 weeks ago and I would love to help her make the transition a happy, peaceful one, but she's goofy and sometimes cranky! There are times when the things she says are truly hilarious! We all laugh. She laughs too! Sometimes she's cranky and accuses us of things that aren't true. That's when she reminds me of grandma and I don't like those times.
I understand that if it's frustrating for me, it's probably more frustrating for her. I try to be patient and I try to be kind and try to overlook the crankiness and remember the sweet mom who taught me to be a responsible human being. (Whether I always was or not is irrelevant!) I try to remember the golden rule and "to do to her as I'd have done to me."

Breaking news: She just asked me "Where does Betty live? No, Where does your aunt live? I went through a list of aunt's I knew...
"Auntie Dot lives in Idaho."
"No, that's not the one."
"auntie Marge?"
"no"
Those are my only aunts!
She started again asking where Betty lived and then shook her head no and asked,
"Where does your aunt Rosemary live?"
I told her I didn't know, that the last she knew she lived in Alaska. Aunt Rosemary is one of my mom's best friends through-out jr. high and high school. Probably hasn't seen or heard from her since the 70s.

That's just a snapshot of how my day goes.

She then told me she wants to go to Bluff Road tomorrow with a camera. She wants to take a picture of our "other house." Probably wants some Chocolate from Willy Wonka too!

Calgon take me away!

Even though I know what I know about death, I still wonder about the actualities of it! Rick Springfield wrote a song titled, "April 24, 1988." That's the date his Father passed away. I've always loved the lyrics because I have the same thoughts!
April 24, 1988
"I know all your life you wondered
About that step we all take alone
How far does the spirit travel on the journey
You must surely be near heaven
And it thrills me to the bone
To know
Daddy knows the great unknown."